Fast Times at St Trinian's
by naturally morbid
Summary: AU. To solve the guardian problem, Violet and her siblings are moved out of the country, split up, and sent to different schools. Violet is sent to St. Trinian's, where she feels she does not fit in. However, Violet will discover that friendship can come from unlikely sources and discovers that she does fit in better than she realizes, especially when her nemesis returns.


**Author's Note**: _Series of Unfortunate Events meets St. Trinian's. _Don't think it's been done yet. Let me know if anyone is OOC.

Is AU, naturally. Time has been shifted to bring Violet forward. Takes place around first movie, when Kelly is still Head Girl.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

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**Fast Times at St. Trinian's **

X

_I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass._

-Maya Angelou

**Chapter 1**

Violet Baudelaire could not believe her fate as she rode past the ominous sign in the English countryside that reminded her once again of her destination.

_St. Trinian's. _

Through a series of complicated, disastrous, and unfortunate events, Violet and her siblings, Klaus and Sunny had been sent to England for safekeeping, then divided up for security reasons. Klaus had been sent to an all boy's school and Sunny placed in protective care, as she was still far too young to attend school.

"Count Olaf would never be able to find you," Mr. Poe assured her. "St. Trinian's is the last place anyone would look for you."

Passing the sign, with the skull and knife strategically placed just beside it, Violet figured if she survived the experience, she would probably hand herself over to Count Olaf.

The school seemed solid enough, the architecture impressive to her inventive side. A little bit like the Baudelaire mansion. She could imagine all sorts of new things, as she pulled her hair up with her ribbon.

For instance, she could invent something that would catch what appeared to be…a student, as she was dangling from the window, upside down, grasped from the ankles by fellow students.

A student?

"Driver, surely you've made as mistake," Violet asked, turning to the scruffy looking man beside her, who had been checking her out once again, but quickly tried to appear not to have been. His name, he had said at the airport, was Flash Harry and he was some sort of liaison with the school. Violet thought he appeared to be more of a gangster or rough of some type.

"No, I havn't. This is the school, love." He winked at her, as he stroked his scraggly chin.

"But surely…" In the windows, she could see girls that would probably get along best with Carmelita Spats, from her other misadventures and narrow escapes from Olaf.

"'Ay, 'ay, you better toughen up fast girly. The littlest ones will eat you alive in there, they will." She could see girls that could hardly be old enough to be away from home, also watching her from the window, with wicked smiles painted on their seemingly innocent features.

One girl was actually sharpening what appeared to be a knife.

Flash Harry let her out near the front steps, unloading her one bag with only the necessary items. She had already changed into the required school uniform –blazer, crisp white shirt, tie (something she had never worn before), skirt, sensible shoes, and black nylons -on the plane. The uniform was itchy, much like the clothing Mrs. Poe had bought for her and her siblings back when their parents had first died.

"Good luck," Flash Harry told her, shaking her hand quickly. "Hope you survive the first hour," he shouted, jumping into his vehicle and roaring down the dusty drive as fast as he could.

Sighing, Violet shouldered her bag and headed into the darkened school. There was a secretary at the desk, wearing headphones and dancing around, with her back to the entrance.

Violet cleared her throat, trying to be polite. The secretary didn't notice in the least. Violet tried this method a few times, before she tried actually tapping the girl on the shoulder.

"Bloody 'ell! You could give someone a 'eart attack!" the woman shouted, the headphones now askew.

"Sorry, I was-"

"You can't just go about tapping strangers on the shoulder!"

"Sorry, I am looking-"

"Are you mad? Wandering about the school."

"Sorry. I'm looking for a Mrs. Fritton?"

"She's in there," the woman gestured, adjusting her headphones. Timidly, Violet stepped past the desk to an open doorway.

"It's Miss Fritton young lady," a tall, blond, and slightly suspect woman corrected Violet as she beckoned the eldest Baudelaire into her office.

"Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for Miss Baudelaire. Marriage is not for me, I'm afraid. No man alive out there with enough gonads to sucker in." Violet sat down across from Miss Fritton, who was sipping tea. "Always happy to have a visitor from across the pond." Violet looked uncomfortable.

"They did make you aware of-"

"Your circumstances? Yes. Don't worry my dear," she laughed, heartily, "we've had girls whose guardians perished under mysterious conditions. Your secret is safe with me." She winked and patted Violet's hand with long fingers.

"No, but you see, I didn't murder any-"

"No, of course not." She winked again. "You will fit right in." She turned and called through the doorway for someone named "Kelly." As they waited for the Head Girl to show up, Miss Fritton briefly explained St. Trinian's purpose – a school for alternative girls, who do not fit anywhere else.

Violet wasn't sure what they told Mr. Poe, but she doubted it was what she was hearing now.

"Oh good, there's Kelly. Miss Baudelaire, you should do just fine here at St. Trinian's."

X

**Author's Note: **Would anyone be interested in reading more?


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